If you're familiar with Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy ... you'll get this.

If not, you may smile, chuckle, and wonder why you did.

Or, you may think: "This tripe and rubbish is precisely why Xanga is being shut-down!"  In which case, you are probably a Vogon.

----------------------------------

The Domain Expiration Ships hung in cyberspace much the same way that bricks don't.

"People of Xanga, your attention, please. This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Internet Cyberspace Planning council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Internet require the building of a hyperspacial bandwidth express route through your web server. And regrettably, your website and blog are among those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Blogging minutes. Thank you."

Wailing and gnashing of teeth ensues.

"There's no point in acting surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display at your local cyberspace planning department in the basement of the Washakie County Courthouse, in Worland, Wyoming for the past 5 years, so you've had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it's far too late to start making a fuss about it now."

A commotion of hands cupped to mouths and shaking fists ripples across the land. In one Mississippi County, Agnes Smith-Wortz's dog howls and wets himself on her new Wal-Mart throw rug.

"What do you mean you've never been to Worland, Wyoming? Oh, for heaven's sake, Xangans, it's in the continental United States, you know. I'm sorry, but if you can't be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that's your own lookout." Turning to the First Officer, "Energize the demolition beams."

"I don't know, apathetic bloody bloggers, I've no sympathy at all."

There was a terrible ghastly silence.

There was a terrible ghastly noise.

There was a terrible ghastly silence.

-----------

Much later, most of the surviving Xangans were assimilated into the evil FaceBorg Empire. "Resistance is futile."

A few rebels holed up in the Google+ Federation Alliance, and are still looking for hacking plans to defeat the FaceBorg.

The rest either died of apathy or became outlaws on other free websites that would soon suffer the same fate as Xanga.

... but oh, the troubles!

I found a good price on a replacement chrome bumper for the truck and ordered it. Only 8 bolts held it to the frame, so I figured it wouldn't be too hard a task.

Right. 

So -first thing, one needs to remove the headlights to get to the bolts. Not a big deal, except that I did lose one of the bolts that hold it in place, and have yet to find a replacement for it.

So, I get to the bolts and discover they are metric. 

I don't have metric wrenches. I do have combination english/metric crescent wrench. 

Doesn't work, as the room requires sockets or a hex wrench. 

Fine.

I buy a socket set and a combo wrench.

I'm able to get 7 of the 8 bolts free. No matter how hard I try the 8th won't come free, and I begin to damage the nut.

I should mention that I did this over the course of a week or so, because I kept having to reassemble the front end to go to work, or ministry work, etc.

I bought some Blaster PB Penetrating Oil.

It worked!

At last! The bumper is free. 

I try to remove the plastic lower bumper, which I intended to reuse, along with the fog lights.

Too rusty. I tried everything to break the two pieces apart, but to no avail.

I had to buy a new lower bumper and two new fog lights, and all the fasteners. 

Oh - no one sells the fasteners.

That took several trips to various stores before I finally found all the "these will do" bolts and nuts I needed to replace the bad ones.

For a while, I drove the truck with only the chrome bumper. It was fine, except that the lower part of the radiator was exposed.

Oh yeah, and two of the holes in the new bumper were off by just about 1/4 inch (... or 0.6 cm, whatever.)

I was out one night with my ministry partner, Donna. I said this:

"We should be fine unless I hit an opossum or raccoon."

On our way home, a suicidal raccoon did a double-thump under my wheels. 

Donna is still cringing at the sound of it.

As for me - I thanked God for a clean kill and that it went under the tires and not against my radiator.

Eventually the lower bumper arrived at home, and I was able to put it on.

And today, as we are on the verge of heading to Arkansas, I finally got the right bolts to put the fog lights back in.

Now .... it goes to the shop for A/C repairs.

Ugh.

Saw the following on www.Quara.com, and thought it was a gem:

Who you marry has the largest impact not just on your emotional life, but also on your lifestyle.

Both the large and small things in your daily life and long term plans will be impacted by your significant other's likes, dislikes, habits, schedule, health, personality, moods, job stresses, financial security, family, and situation.  

For instance, how often will you go on vacations, and where will you go?  What type of food will you eat, and who will cook it?   Where will you live, and how clean will the house be?  What TV shows and movies will you watch, and how often? When the toothpaste or toilet paper runs out will your partner get more or expect you to?  How much sleep will you get?  How many children will you have and how will they be raised?  How many cars will you have, and will you lease or buy?  Will you be in debt or have a large savings?  

Lucky for me, I married my best friend and someone who fits my lifestyle.  Jay Wacker, who loves to travel, cook, watch Game of Thrones, take pictures and who can be silly and serious.  

He also introduced me to Quora.  

  

What's the best piece of advice your mom ever gave you?

 

So ... I'm reading an article about some students who got suspended for shooting "an awesome twerking video" ... using school resources and equipment.

And then I'm wondering, what the heck is "twerking?"

So, being the modern up-to-date guy I am, I Google it and find this:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/05/03/an-old-person-s-guide-to-twerking.html

It's "An OLD PERSON'S guide to twerking."

Fortunately, it had a video with a rap song as a visual aid. (And a really unusual ad to lead into the video.)

Unfortunately, I think I threw my back out just watching it.

Holy cow ... how do people do THAT???

What were you good at when you were 8-years-old?

When I was eight - I liked finding crayfish in the creek and building model airplanes.

I wasn't especially good at either.

This young lady is amazingly good at what she does!

I don't place a whole lot of stock in reincarnation, although I believe that with God, ALL things are possible.

But when I see something like this - HO - LEEE - COW!!!

The girl is Ukranian - singing in English.

She's singing with amazing strength and ability.

And she's got incredible stage presence.

Wow!

As I make my schedule change back to night shift, I had a nice day off yesterday. The weather was especially lovely, touching sunny and 81F before the day was done. Woo Hoo!

I spent the greater part of the day working on a small art project.  

When I was in Arkansas, I retrieved a lawn ornament from @SaintVI mom's home (Nita). It wasn't in good shape, but I thought it might make a nice afternoon project and find a place in my garden. 

One stake was broken free and it was also missing the propeller that causes the farmers hands to milk the cow. I replaced the metal stake with a wooden support, and made due with a flower propeller from another broken yard ornament I found at Nita's home.

I bought some acrylic paint when I was with @JoyousWind watching Oblivion (Decent Sci-Fi film. We gave it 2 - 3 stars.)

In the course of the afternoon, this is what I was able to do:

I was especially pleased with how the cow turned out. Upon consultation with @SaintVi, I only did some minor touch-ups to the farmer. It seemed fitting that he'd look a little more weather weary.

Getting the fan to fit on the crank assembly was tricky, but I finally got it to work. Here's what the finished decoration looks like:

And ... there is a glow-in-the dark vine in the green paint. I'll be curious to see how well it shows up at night. There's also an alien face beneath the farmer

... but we won't tell him about that!

So, the search for a used Dakota Crew Cab or Ram 1500 has stalled. 

The most recent prospect turned out to have an odometer rollback of 80,000 to 100,000 miles, by my guess. I don't like paying for CarFax, but it just paid for itself on that one.

This leaves me with my truck, in which I just invested $500 for completely new rear brakes. Apparently, I got them fixed just before they failed completely. Praise God for His mercies. 

My truck also has a small exhaust leak from the "donut seal."  I had this investigated a few months ago, and our mechanic said it probably wasn't worth the money to fix it. The seal closes when the exhaust system heats up, so it's mostly noticed only on starting the engine.

For those, like me, who don't know that these things are intuitively, here's a picture:

The Exhaust Gasket (aka "Donut seal") is what connects the exhaust system piping to the engine exhaust manifold.

One would think that's not a big deal to replace: unbolt the fitting, replace the seal, and bolt it back up. 

But one would be wrong if one thought that. One would have bolts rattling about in their head would one think such a thing!

No - it involves taking a torch, heating the studs until they are "glowing red" and then disassembling and so forth and so on. In short, it's about a $300 repair job by your local mechanic. Probably more like $500 from a dealer shop.

Back to my truck.

The day after my $500 brake repair, the donut seal failed completely. All the exhaust flowed around and into the cab of the truck, to the delightful sound of every piston firing, which isn't unlike a rapid-fire paintball gun.  Not pleasant.

I thought it was some other hole in the exhaust, so I crawled underneath (after the truck cooled down) to take a look. I saw my donut seal close up .. and I began pondering.

One of the things I learned in the Navy (that wasn't in the recruitment literature) is how to "make it happen."  That was a phrase officers used for us enlisted scum to do whatever it takes and not tell them how it was done. Carte blanche. If you're good, it can win you great favor. If you fail ... well, not so much.

I wasn't an expert - but I was pretty good. My philosophy was always "don't be further than one step away from an explanation."  

But, back to the truck.

It seemed to me that all the seal needed was something to hold the pipes more tightly together. And what might do that? A clamp. And guess what, it just so happens that I do have a small C-clamp in my eclectic tool box.

So ... instead of $300 to repair the leak, I've invested about $2 to achieve this lovely feat of engineering:

@JoyousWind had a good laugh when I told her about it. She called it a "hillbilly repair job."

I call it "don't ask, don't tell" applied engineering.

We don't know what our mechanic would think, but we suspect it would elicit a wry smile from his usually concerned demeanor.

Look what happened in my garden today!!

I expect to see these evolve next ....

Flowering Tobacco

Showy Evening Primrose

Moonflower

Flying Squirrels, Spent Nuclear Fuel, Dodge Dakota, 3D, Published Article, Moon Garden, and "Where's Waldo."

Writing challenge #407 - use all the above in a description of your past couple of weeks.

Where to start?

I was on shift work much of this past week. My hours were from 5:30 PM to 3:30 AM, to accommodate movement of spent fuel assemblies from our reactor.

I guess I'll start there.

Spent Nuclear Fuel

A lot people think spent nuclear fuel glows green. It doesn't. Glow-in-the-dark toys do. Spent nuclear fuel glows a royal blue when submerged in water. If it's not submerged in water, and you're looking at it, you'll be green very soon, and dead shortly thereafter. If you happen to put one of your child's glow-in-the-dark toys in the bathtub and it glows royal blue ... well, let's not go there, but you might want to check that it wasn't made in North Korea.

But I digress.

One of the perks of having finished my 18 month certification course was to be able to supervise part of the fuel movement out of the reactor core and into our spent fuel pool. It looks a lot like the picture below:

That's a much better job than hauling around radioactive laundry and trash.

The operators inside the containment dome flood the compartment with the reactor in it, remove the top of it, and then pick one fuel assembly out of the vessel with a small crane. The crane moves the assembly to a transfer cart that lowers it to a horizontal position, sends it through a transfer tube, and then raises it up so a similar crane on the spent fuel side can pick it up and put it in a designated location in the spent fuel pool. This takes about 10 - 20 minutes per assembly. In the reactor we just defueled, we have 193 assemblies and it took us about 38 hours, which is a very good time frame. My job is to be a second-check to ensure the assembly goes into the slot it is supposed to be stored in. I also direct traffic in the area around the pool, so that no one interferes with their progress. 

Right now, I'm off shift-work until we are ready to refuel the reactor, which should be around the week of April 22. Kind of depends on how things go.

Some subterfuge and intrigue is going on in the training department while we refuel the reactor. Long story short, my former supervisor "M" is on the backside of the political favor stick. She's about to lose one of her people to the operations side of training (where I work) so he can work full-time on 3D training lesson plans. It may well be that her group is completely dissolved, and the positions reassigned - but that's speculation.

So what's in that for me?

3D Training

Well - Shane (who she's about to lose) and I have long been lobbying for advanced online training that includes the use of 3D technology. I even went so far as to write and industry white paper on it, which is still posted with 3D Internet. (http://www.3dinternet.com/NUC%20WHITE%20PAPER.pdf)

Mostly we got pats on the head and sent on our way. Well, the "right" people finally saw a training lesson plan which used this technology and had an epiphany. "All of our lesson plans should look like that!"  It's kind of like when a parent give a child a piece of wisdom and you get, "whatever, mom." But when Sally's cool mom says it, "Wow! Guess what I found out!!" 

But Shane and I don't care. The idea is moving forward. He's learning how to create the 3D graphics, and he's lobbying for me to be the developing instructor, if for no other reason than he's not qualified to do that. Since I've also been using a more advanced online training software (Articulate Storyline) for recent training modules, and it's been well-received, it's very likely I'd be helping with that. If so - that would excite me a LOT!! There is a barely tapped potential in and out of the nuclear industry for this kind of product. For example:

Published Article

And speaking of articles, the International Society for Performance Improvement (http://www.ispi.org/) is publishing my article in their April edition of Performance Improvement Journal.

The title: "The Expanding Role of Human Performance Technology in Corporate Sustainability."

Yeah - it rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it? 

Needless to say, unless industrial human performance is something that interests you - this wouldn't be your cup of tea. Briefly, I'm looking at the need for more attention on human performance in industrial setting to prevent things like Deepwater Horizon oil spill, space shuttle explosions, and accidents like the recent fatality at the Arkansas Nuclear One power station. (http://rt.com/usa/arkansas-nuclear-plant-accident-170/) Most of the real research data has been measured by sales, inventory, manufacturing time, etc. More needs to be done to study how an error made by one person can set up a sequence of events, or trigger one that has been set up, that would result in tragedy.

For me - no money involved. I'll get free copies of the magazine and the satisfaction that my writing was worth their printing.

3D Jurassic Park

And speaking of 3D, @JoyousWind and I went to see Jurassic Park 3D. She was only seven years old when it first came out. Needless to say, mom and dad weren't too keen on letting her see people get eaten by dinosaurs, so she never saw the film until long after it was on ... VHS.  Yeah - remember video tapes?  Remember the first video cameras??

She was thrilled to be able to FINALLY see the movie on the big screen. It was worth a 20 year wait. 

Dodge Dakota

Those of you who follow @SaintVi know I'm looking to trade in my 224,000 mile 2000 Dodge Dakota. I'm looking for another Dakota Club Cab that's in the 100K to 130K, has 4WD and is in good shape. And after test driving a few - it has to be a V8 and not a V6.  For a 2 mpg gas savings, they castrated the power in the truck to the point that it's almost impossible to pass anyone at speeds above 50 MPH.  Not a good quality on a busy interstate.  So far, I've not seen a "home run" deal. The best one going is a 2001 model with 111K on it and in really clean shape and a good price. There are a couple of very minor condition issues (much, much better than my current truck). The one real reservation I have is that the engine sounds "loud." Maybe that's my imagination (but I don't think so) Maybe it's a small exhaust hole. Maybe something else. I'd like that sorted out before I buy it. Here's what it looks like:

AND ... it has a cassette tape player!!

Garden

The weather has finally, finally shaped up enough for me to tend to my gardens. This is what it looks like in bloom in late autumn. A lot of the flowers are gone at that point in the year, but you get a fair idea:

This is what it looked like before I did much work on it:

Pretty drab. 

Here's what PART of my work looked like:

I'm pleased to say all the beds are clean, vines and roses are trimmed, and we even have our first daffodil bloom! Yay!

I'm currently scheming to make a moon garden in the flower bed next to the shed.

My plan is for it to have white flowers that are fragrant: moon flower, four o'clocks, blooming tobacco, jasmine, and pansies. I'd also like to build a small structure in the middle for the climbing vines and to hang a bamboo wind chime. We'll see.

I think that brings me to flying squirrels and "Where's Waldo?"

Flying Squirrels

You may recall that I heard sounds in the attic that I thought were rats. I set a trap and caught what I thought must be a chimpmunk, but couldn't really figure out how in the world it got up there. I reset the trap, all the same, to see if more varmints were up there. I heard one scurrying around this morning, so I checked the trap this afternoon. This time it was alive. And again - it didn't really look like a chipmunk, but it was closer to that than anything else. I took the trap and the dog to the creek about a 1/4 mile from our house to toss the varmint over the river. If it fell in - it could sink or swim for all I cared. Instead ... I saw it do this:

"Holy Rocky and Bullwinkle, Batman! That's no chipmunk!"

That squirrel sailed easily to the far bank. I was impressed, and glad it was on the FAR bank. It was happy to be free and away from Boo, the dog. I call it a win-win.

Now ... about where they're getting into the attic?  Both they and the bats seem to have a favorite location that I'm going to have to spend some serious time looking for.

And so that brings me to ..

"Where's Waldo?"

I think you'll find this guy in church next Sunday:

Our pastor likes to have a "Holy Humor" Sunday. He will deliver a message that integrates a variety of clean jokes people have sent him. He also encourages dressing a little silly. I thought about doing it last year, but passed on it. I think I'm going for it this time.

And speaking of all those "holy" phrases. @SaintVi and I passed an interesting church the other day:

Kind of hard to read the sign on their website photo ... but it reads thus:

"Holy Maternity of Mary"

Can't you just hear it?

And with that ... I'll turn the page

Not long ago, I posted my experience with getting yet another bat out of the attic. That's been the most common pest. When we first moved into the house, I also had to deal with yellow-jackets, but I've not seen them for some time now. 

After I removed the bat, I was up early (as is my custom) and heard scurrying sounds from the attic. The first thing that came to my mind was "rat." I wouldn't have heard a mouse, and when we lived in Hawaii the military duplex we lived in was infested with both rats and roaches. The rats nested in the attic, and would come out to eat Christmas candy. The roaches were so integral to the walls that  all it took was a smack on the wall to hear them rustling. 

We have Hitchcock styled horror stories for both, although I believe @SaintVi has already shared those, and it's not the point of what died in my attic.

I didn't have a rat trap on hand, but I did have a chipmunk live-catch trap that I use for those critters, as they tend to work their way into our yard during the summer months. They're easier to catch than the moles, so I have a better track record with those. I figured the trap would work for a rat, as well, so I wrapped some wild birdseed in cheese and put the little cage in the attic. 

Checked it the next morning - empty.

And the next morning - empty.

And on the third day ... the trap was empty and an angel of the Lord sat upon the box that had covered it ... oops ... sorry, blending stories.  

Anyway - the trap was empty, and I quit looking for a while. 

About a week goes by and I'm showered an in my pajamas and headed for bed when the thought comes to my mind - "Is there anything in the trap?" So, I pull down the stairway, walk up it and peer down the aisle. There is something in the trap ... and it's not a rat ... and it is dead. Since there's really no point in my pulling it down from there when the temps are in the 20's and I'm one pillow away from slumberland, I opt to keep the secret to myself and wait for the next day. 

After work, I remember to go into the attic, and look more closely at the trap.  In it .... is a chipmunk.

Seriously??

I'm not sure how it got up there, but I'd guess it came across tree branches and jumped onto the roof. Why it took 3+ days to catch, I have no idea, unless our attic was just a stop along the way. I tossed the body on the compost pile and reset the trap, as I've discovered chipmunks seldom hang out alone. I checked it the first couple of day, but haven't done so since. Come to think of it, it might have been a week now. 

In other news ...

We presented a hymn sing service on Saturday, as we usually do. It's the same location where Elmer, a dear friend who is now well into his 90's now lives. We know Elmer from better days at our former church. He was (and is) a model of service as a spiritual gift. We often have some trouble with getting staff support at this residence, but yesterday it went very well. That's the background, and not my story. My story is Rachel.

Rachel is 45 years old, and in many respects, a very attractive brunette. Occasionally, we meet people our age in these residences. Sometimes, it's to recover from surgery and other times, it's a debilitating disease. (A plug for Ralph Waldo Emerson: "The first wealth is health.")  Rachel is currently in a wheelchair, but makes a point to attend every activity possible, hence why she showed up at our hymn sing service. Afterward, she made a point to speak with me at length about her story and how our service touched her. 

Rachel is struggling with breast cancer. The cancer moved from her breast and into her bones, taking up residence in her right hip. Between the cancer and the radiation treatment therapy, the pelvic bone is too damaged to support her weight. Before the disease she was tremendously active, and now finds herself confined to the wheelchair, and has a lot more treatment in front of her.  During the course of our service, we presented the story of the man who was lame for 38 years  John 5:1-13. Imagine being lame since 1975, and you get the idea. 

I presented that a curious aspect of the story is the man's answer to Jesus when he's asked: "Do you want to get well?"

Most would answer "Yes!"  He answers, "I can't sir," and then explains his one-solution view to his problem.  I explained that often we get stuck into the idea that we are in a place where there is only one solution, when sometimes there are others. 

This particular part of the message touched Rachel, and she wanted to be sure we knew that. She is single, and far from her family, so her support group is fairly small. Given the details she shared with me, I think she needed that listening ear. From time to time, don't we all?

Most of the people to whom we minister are not really able to share their thoughts in a cogent way. When we do get that kind of blessing, it is a double portion. 

Palm Sunday - It's been a while since I was busy with all things church on a Christian holiday. Today was one of them. I started out the day by taking the second week of one of the adult SS classes on the topic of "Generous Justice." It's a book written by Timothy Keller that we've been going through. The regular teacher's daughter delivered their first grandchild this past week, so I covered both Sundays. Curiously, both Dennis and Paula were back this week, so they were students in their own course!  That was kind of weird. 

Right after that, I helped in the nursery. Three little ones - two infants, and a very active toddler, made up the group. I got to meet Jodi, a 30-something mom, who was the "lead" aide. (I was just a lackey.) While there, the mom of one of the infants came and stayed. Interesting story - she recently discovered her newborn has Down's Syndrome. Lots of spiritual and emotional struggling is going on there. While the ladies (by which time there were 3) were sharing and consoling and talking with each other ... pretty much without breath ... I kept a close eye on the little boy. We had a good time. When I did get a chance to share a thought, I told the troubled mom that I've met many people with Down's Syndrome, and here's one thing they have in common: Their spirit is among the purest you'll ever find.

The nature of that disease keeps many at a functional level of a small child, but imagine being four or five years old for decades. It's a child's view of the world, seasoned with years of experience in it. People with Down's are among the most beautiful souls I've met. They are a lot of work, physically, spiritually, and emotionally - but they are precious. I do understand why many women/couples will terminate their pregnancy if they know the child has Downs. If I understand things correctly, this is why there are fewer cases of it now, than in previous years. I pass NO judgment on those people. I will say that for those who do raise these children into adults, they will likely be blessed in discovering not only the purity of their child's spirit, but also the well-tempered brilliance of their own. 

Right after the nursery, I went down the road to help present a half-hour of the Sunday Service at another church with our ministry group. The pastor is a learned, liberal, and eccentric man who is an absolute riot and delight for us. He also allows us to use their fellowship hall for a silent prayer meeting we hold once a month. When the Palm Sunday service at one of the residences was cancelled on Wednesday because of illness in the facility, he graciously accepted Donna's request (which he had previously offered) for our group to be part of their worship. As it turned out, their regular accompanist was absent, and David had a sore throat, so he wasn't looking forward to speaking/leading a full hour.  Interesting timing.   Our presentation went fine, and we were graciously received.

And at last ... I came home.  

@SaintVi made a lovely, simple lunch of a sort of dinner-roll sandwich, fruit and cold veggies.  In honor of Palm Sunday, we watched Jesus Christ Superstar (the 1973 version).  I still love, love that musical. 

And that, my Xanga friends is all I'll write for now.  Many more things coming, including a printed article and my supervising the movement of nuclear fuel rods from the reactor to the spent fuel pool. 

I should wear my "Where's Waldo?" costume for that.