May 31, 2013
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The Vogon Plan to Destroy Xanga
If you're familiar with Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy ... you'll get this.
If not, you may smile, chuckle, and wonder why you did.
Or, you may think: "This tripe and rubbish is precisely why Xanga is being shut-down!" In which case, you are probably a Vogon.
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The Domain Expiration Ships hung in cyberspace much the same way that bricks don't.
"People of Xanga, your attention, please. This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Internet Cyberspace Planning council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Internet require the building of a hyperspacial bandwidth express route through your web server. And regrettably, your website and blog are among those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Blogging minutes. Thank you."
Wailing and gnashing of teeth ensues.
"There's no point in acting surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display at your local cyberspace planning department in the basement of the Washakie County Courthouse, in Worland, Wyoming for the past 5 years, so you've had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it's far too late to start making a fuss about it now."
A commotion of hands cupped to mouths and shaking fists ripples across the land. In one Mississippi County, Agnes Smith-Wortz's dog howls and wets himself on her new Wal-Mart throw rug.
"What do you mean you've never been to Worland, Wyoming? Oh, for heaven's sake, Xangans, it's in the continental United States, you know. I'm sorry, but if you can't be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that's your own lookout." Turning to the First Officer, "Energize the demolition beams."
"I don't know, apathetic bloody bloggers, I've no sympathy at all."
There was a terrible ghastly silence.
There was a terrible ghastly noise.
There was a terrible ghastly silence.
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Much later, most of the surviving Xangans were assimilated into the evil FaceBorg Empire. "Resistance is futile."
A few rebels holed up in the Google+ Federation Alliance, and are still looking for hacking plans to defeat the FaceBorg.
The rest either died of apathy or became outlaws on other free websites that would soon suffer the same fate as Xanga.
Comments (27)
lol, too funny and too true ***sigh..... now where's my babble-fish?.....:D
LTHT (Laughing Too Hard to Type). It took me three tries. You are awesome! This deserves some of my hoarded credits.
Guess this is good-bye.
@Tempguestbrief - There is also something funny about a "babble-fish" and a blog site.
@amygwen - probably for Xanga, but I'm going to hole up with the rebel alliance.
Tell me more of the Rebel Alliance - If I weren't so upset I'd laugh. *sniff* Why do these things always happen when I'm on vacation?
Should I pack a towel?
Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes. And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"
They are going to rend me WHERE? with WHAT? Oh my! Well those Vogons are attributed with having the 3rd worst poetry in the world.
I think I'll hop aboard Firefly and take my chance against the Reavers. I've already been through Y360 and Multiply, now Xanga, who knows what next. I was called a blogging gypsy just yesterday. I'll just pack my tambourine and my towel, ready to travel when necessary but enjoy the moments that are left. (I hope people don't abandon ship too soon, therefor escalating the potential demise)
This blog was awesome. Just what I needed in light of the news. TY.
Bah, as if I wasn't feeling bad enough you had to bring up Firefly, my cherished show, at the end
The "way that bricks don't" line was the one which endeared the whole HitchHiker's series to me. I once read that section out to my class at school (we each had to do one) - they sat looking entirely blank, just didn't get it. I knew from that day on I was a man apart from the majority.
I loved Firefly.
A brilliant take on the situation. Loved the humor and viewpoint. WordPress seems to be the spaceship most people plan to cyberjump.
no disponemos de tanto tiempo
Kudos on the parody.
Maybe Xanga 2.0 can change their fee to 42.
Until firetyger's hubby can host a Xanga-like experience, I'll hang my towel at districtofcalamity.com (via blogger)
But I don't want to live in outer space!!
Good thing I always have a towel at the ready.
this was totally geeky and delightful!
Thank you - I needed a laugh today - I'm just so sad it's going to end - in - 45 days from now !
Let's party till we don't even care ... !
@Tempguestbrief - babel fish : P
Anything that references Hitchhiker's is an automatic laugh from me.
Started as soon as I saw the title!
@agnophilo - thanks, lol, it didn't look right.... but with some of these sites you really do need the interpreter....:D
LOVED this!
Well, there are certainly Vogons in the Xangasphere—failures of evolution whose brains were originally malformed and dyspeptic livers
… ’nuff said. 
@Kris0logy - 1000! Wow!! Thanks much. It's a lovely Xanga parting gift.
cliff notes?
This. Is. Awesome!!!
@Tempguestbrief - How ironic.
I only remember the spelling because I've used yahoo's babel fish translator site.
@agnophilo - lol, it used to be on alta vista....
Comments are closed.